#3 MADHUMITA : Struggle To Find New You

Madhumita now very well understood that MOVING FORWARD is the only option she has. But she was not aware about how to move. Natasha could sensitise her about the beauty of life but how to live this beautiful life, Madhu has to learn herself only.

Madhu started going to college, attending all her classes, working on her assignments, but she always tried to avoid going to canteen. She always tried to give a miss to all those places, where she could find Rohit, because she knew somewhere in her heart that his presence around her may fill her with all that guilt and sorrow again which she is trying to escape.

She restricted herself to her classes and hostel. All her professors and class mates could see the transformation in Madhu, from a very cheerful, lively girl to a very quiet one. She remained dull all the day, did not enjoy humors in class, no gossiping with friends, no talks about the latest fashion and trends, moreover not getting clicked either by self or by friends. She did never go for outing or movies even on weekends. Her presence on social media was also affected, her followers too missed her as she did not post anything in these two months. And the best part was, she has an excuse for her change, ‘Typhoid, it makes you dull, weak and recovery takes a long time’ she had the reply ready if anyone asks ‘Madhu, are you ok?’

It was Natasha’s birthday. In hostel at 12 midnight friends gathered and brought the cake. Natasha cut the cake and gave first piece to Madhumita and also pasted the cream over Madhu’s face.

arey… arey…Natasha, its your birthday, why u put it on Madhumita’s face…” asked a friend amazingly

Natasha replied with a big smile “because she needs a facial badly”.. All friends did burst into laughter and Madhu gave a smile in response.

Madhu went to washroom and deliberately took around 25 minutes to wash off the cream. When she returned to her room, majority of girls had left. She was happy as her efforts worked to avoid contact with all of them at once in her room. Natasha offered her cake “we are going out tomorrow evening for my birthday celebration”

Madhu took the plate and her gaze fixed at cake replied “Natasha, wish you a very happy birthday dear, but I won’t be able to accompany you tomorrow…. ehh…. because……ehh..I have some assignment work in the evening”

Natasha laughed “Madhumita tomorrow is Sunday my darling…. Koi aur accha bahana soch le”

Madhumita squirmed “ohh, no…. no,… actually I thought tomorrow is Saturday,… ehh…. so much stress nowadays,…. exams are also near…. why will I try to avoid your party,….”

Natasha just kept looking at Madhu trying to observe her body language and her facial expressions and soon Madhu could not resist her heart out ” I am sorry Natasha, actually yes, I don’t want to go out…. ”

Natasha interrupted her ” I had typhoid, it causes a lot of weakness and time to recover…. come on give your typical reply, that you are giving to everyone since couple of months… Sahi hai hamara diya hathiyar ham par hi chala lo ab tum….. Chal na yaar kal, we have planned for Hauz khas village… It will be so much fun,… Aur tera ye typhoid ka bahana ab jyada mat kheench, itne dino me to asli typhoid bhi thik ho jaye… Ab kya bechare typhoid ki leke hi manegi” and laughed

Madhu agreed for the next days plan “but I will not take hard drinks there”.

Next day Natasha started to get ready at around 4 pm. Madhu was in no mood to get a makeover for the party. Natasha asked Madhu “madamji, get ready or we will get late”

Madhu replied, “I will take hardly 15 minutes to get ready, dont worry”

Natasha again “oye madam, we are going to Hauz khas village, I want to look superhot today, and yes you too should dress well, kamaal ke bande aur bandiya aate hai yaar, and we are no less than those super hot girls, and you are our beauty queen, lagna chahiye na ki Natasha ke birthday pe saara group mast aaya tha

Madhu in amazed tone… “saara group means, who else

Natasha replied “who else means, yaar hauz khas ja re hai, rukha rukha ni jana, you, me and two of my friends”

” who are your two friends, by the way” asked Madhu

” have faith yaar, you will come to know, you never met them actually, so when we meet you will come to know, and yes Rohit nahi hai for sure” winked Natasha, ” now get ready soon, we have to look hot tonight, and please help me also by your secret tips to a hotty looking girl”

“I dont have any dress to wear” replied Madhu, “I will go in my casuals”

“no way, behanji na ban ab, chal apne asli roop me aja, dikha de is zalim duniya ko ki kya dum hai tujhme, aaj to kai topo ki salami karani hai hame” laughed Natasha and handed over her red net dress, (which was gifted by Rohit) “wear this tonight”

Madhu frowned “are you out of your mind, I mean I am sorry, its your birthday, but this dress was….”

Natasha interrupted “gifted by Rohit, so what, are you afraid that this dress will also fu#k you off, come on, wear this darling, please, hum quality time ke liye ja re hai, to enjoy today, the day we are in now. Why you can’t forget your past, make space in your life for today, come on you are wearing this and no excuses allowed, its my order, I am the birthday girl. Believe me, we will enjoy tonight a lot…..and yes let me be very clear.. ENJOYMENT DOES NOT MEAN ONLY SEX ”

Natasha wore a knee length black skirt with side slits upto mid thigh, paired with an orange top with halter neck with high pony. She wore 3 inch platform heels and glittery earrings, and wine and rum shade of lip primer. Madhu donned the same red net dress paired with her black stilettos and red floral earrings, ruby crush lipstick and her hairs loosely tied with a clutcher. Both were looking super gorgeous. Natasha called her friend “we are ready, lets go”

Natasha and Madhu reached outside the hostel and a cab was waiting there. As soon as they approached the cab, Aarav stepped out of car, awestruck by the two beauties “hi, Natasha, hi Madhumita, you both are looking awesome”

Natasha shook hands with Aarav, “Thankyou” she waved to the other person sitting in the cab front seat “Namaste sirji”. It was Vishal Rana, the common wealth silver medalist. They all took their seats and cab proceeded to Hauz khas village.

Aarav, he is batchmate of Madhumita, but they never interacted uptil now. He is a son of IPS Amar Saxena. His father wants him to aspire for civil services. But Aarav’s aspirations are different from his father’s. He wants to be a photographer, professional photographer . He was from the same town as Natasha, and both did their 12th from same school. Looks wise, he is not very hot, but neither bad, you can say average guy with a dusky complexion but good dressing sense. Height aroun 5 feet 9 inches, physique was good, because he used to do morning workout with Natasha. Madhumita never liked Aarav because according to her, he is not sincere and also miss the classes frequently. Even if present, he used to remain unattentive, never submit assignments in time, so Madhumita always avoided him, considering him a spoilt brat of an IPS officer.

Vishal Rana is a Common Wealth Games medalist. He won silver medal in last common wealth games, in 200 meter run. He is the heartthrob of whole college. 3rd year student and pride of whole nation. He is 6 feet 3 inches in height with an athletic body and army cut hairs. Broad shoulders and six pack abs. He is a college celebrity. Most girls use to talk about him but he never talk to any of them. When he practices, many girls just roam around the ground just to have a glance of him while in action. Natasha is also in running and national champion. She practices with Vishal and hence they know each other. Vishal has faith that Natasha is capable of performing well internationally too as she is national record holder. Both are preparing to represent India in next Asian Games. So they both train together and are inspiration and motivation to each other.

On the way, Madhumita did not speak much. She was little nervous to be at Hauz Khas. But as Natasha stood by her during past 2 months in her time of distress, she wanted to be with her on her birthday. But she was not comfortable with two new men in her company, that too Aarav, who she believes to be a bad student and another Vishal, who is so attractive to resist.

They reached their destination of the evening, Moonlovers pub and restaurant. Aarav was the one who suggested and Madhumita had been to such a happening place for the first time. They took a table for four. Natasha sat with Aarav on one side of table and Madhumita was left with Vishal on another side. There was a DJ as well. After getting comfortable, Natasha and Aarav were checking the menu. Natasha asked Madhu her choice “anything you suggest Natasha” replied Madhu with a fake smile.

Natasha ordered Sun Kiss (vodka with mango juice and lemonade) for Madhu and Beach lady (vodka with orange juice and litchi juice) for self. Aarav and Vishal ordered Tuborg pints for themselves.

Madhu dared to ask Natasha “Natasha you ordered mocktail for me na dear”

“of course darling” replied Natasha giggled and continued “Madhumita, you must be aware of Aarav, he is your class mate. We were school mates actually”

“hmm, ohh” Madhu stared at Aarav with a fake smile on her lips “hi Aarav”

“hi Madhu, I mean Madhumita. Actually Natasha, me and Madhu never talk to each other. She sits in first row…. ”

“He is either absent and if present prefers to be at last row in the class ” completed Madhu..

Natasha introduced Vishal “Madhu he is Vishal, THE VISHAL RANA, pride of our college, our nation, commonwealth silver medalist in 200 metre and of course now my guru, you can say. I practice with him in the morning. And Vishal this is my roommate Madhumita, a very charming and lively girl of our college, she is the favourite of all professors ”

Vishal replied ” charming is ok, but I dont think she is lively. She hardly speaks anything ” looking at Madhumita

These words of Vishal were adequate enough to give a blow to Madhumita’s ego which was lost after that night and made her dull. In her life, she was always chased by boys. Its the first time that a boy pointed at her flaw. She tried to give explanation

” ohh, no no, actually I had typhoid few days back, and that’s why little weakness”

Hearing this Natasha laughed “I was the one who diagnosed her typhoid, and now I think she will recover soon” all laughed (this time Madhu did laugh as well and it wasn’t fake).

The cocktails arrived with the beers. They all held their glasses and cheered and wished Natasha birthday again. Now Madhu was little conscious so that she is not labelled boring anymore, that too by super hot Vishal. Aarav ordered veg crisp triangles with cheese and salated cashew nuts as starters.

After their cocktails (which Madhu was not aware about that hers is a cocktail too) Madhu felt little relaxed. Aarav stood and asked Natasha to accompany him to dance floor. Natasha pointed at Madhu, “take her along, she is a wonderful dancer.” Aarav held Madhumita’s hands and they both went and danced on the DJ. With her gorgeous moves on dance floor, Madhu gained everyone’s attention sitting in the pub. Two boys came and joined the duo. All four danced really well. Madhumita waved at Natasha and hinted them to join as well. Vishal and Natasha too joined the group and danced to the beats of DJ.

Vishal and Natasha soon went back to their seats. Aarav continued with Madhu. Madhu was dancing her heart out. After almost 2 months of listless and depressive life, cheer did find its place on Madhu’s face. This time it was from within.

Aarav dragged Madhu back to their table. This time seats were exchanged. Vishal took his seat with Natasha and Madhumita sat with Aarav. Madhumita signaled that she wants to go to the washroom. Aarav accompanied her. After a while they both returned to their seats. Madhu was really enjoying the evening. Natasha offered beer to all and everyone again cheered her birthday (this time Madhu herself opted for beer).

“You know friends” initiated Madhu “Natasha I have gained weight during past few months. This dress was comfortable 2 months ago, but today I could fit in it with difficulty. Not comfortable enough, just because its your birthday I did manage. You all 3 are so fit, I am the only fat one” and laughed at herself

Aarav : Madhumita, you are the hottest girl in campus. Yaa….. you became little dull in past few months. If you realise it, why don’t you do anything to fix it”

Natasha : hey, Madhu, you can join us in mornings for workouts, it will keep you fit and its also helpful in relieving stress, see Aarav, it helped him a lot to relieve his stress.

Madhu: Aarav, stress…. stress, Aarav. Isko kaunsa stress hai, class to ata nai hai, dad is IPS. what kind of stress he has…. Iski bhi kisi ne le li kya… (madhu burst into laughter) she was accompanied by other 3 too.

Vishal : oye, Natasha, Madhu is really lively yaar. I thought she is very reserve types. (looking towards Aarav) bolo maharaj tumhari kisne li….

Aarav: saala, meri to mere baap ne le rakhi hai

Madhu: what, your dad is an IPS. Cream of the society. You are so lucky to have him as your dad. He has more than million followers on fb yaar, and he is so good looking and great personality. Dont mind but at this age too, he looks better than you. And you are so irresponsible in class yaar… I guess tumhari wazah se unki lagi padi hogi

Madhu laughed and this time only Vishal and Natasha did laugh not Aarav. Natasha realised the agony of Aarav “hey friends, joking apart, lets not be judgemental yaar. Upar wale ne sabke G me danda de rakha hai… Madhu please dont make fun of my dear Aarav” she stood and hugged Aarav and tapped his back and put her lips on his head.

Aarav: Thanks Natasha, and Madhu its a long story, will tell you some other time.

Madhu: ok Aarav and sorry dear if I hurt you

Madhu too hugged Aarav.

Aarav: so Madhu, you are coming tomorrow morning. A step towards fitter and hotter Madhu.

Madhu :yes, sure. I am in. New member of your fitness club.

Madhu raised her hand in the air.

After having dinner and having the best of her time with her new friends, Madhu felt very different. While they were returning back in the cab, she closed her eyes and felt lucky to have such persons in life. She was enthusiastic to join their fitness club. Why should I suffer……Why my life be dull….. The person who did everything deliberately is enjoying…. I have to make new goals, new decisions and follow new paths…. I will give my best…. Natasha was right, it was a safe sex with good experience and nothing else…. I did enjoy it…. But there’s more in life I can achieve…. She took out her mobile, clicked a selfie with a pout and uploaded it immediately on her Instagram and fb with a caption ” had the best time ever with my besties, life rocks”

Madhumita now got a new path, new goal in her life…..To be fit and happy. She realised that life has so much to offer. She has to be at receiving end and open to all options available.

Lets wait and see what course her life’s journey takes in next part….. Till then have a look on your journey of life…. With lots of love to all my readers…. πŸ’•πŸ’•

#2 MADHUMITA : Battle with Self

Madhumita and Natasha were looking at each other. Madhu’s eyes filled with tears and Natasha seemed as if she is relieved.

“Madhu, it was this much only or you want to share something else too” Natasha questioned Madhu

“This much only! What do you mean by this much only? What else you want Natasha. I am ruined, I feel my life is finished and you are saying ‘this much only’.. Madhu burst into tears again…. ‘meri lag chuki hai’

” wait, wait. Hold on Madhu, have water dear. I am sorry. Please don’t cry. ” Natasha tried to console the weeping beauty.

But Madhumita continued with tears in her swollen eyes ” Natasha, I feel that I lost everything…. Us kamine ne… barbad kar diya mujhe

“Ok, but believe me Madhu, u did not loose anything. I was concerned for more disastrous things, that’s why I asked you, that ‘is there something else too’ that happened” Natasha was in explanation mode

“What do you mean by something else” Madhu looked angrily on Natasha as if she is responsible now for her sufferings

Natasha knew that Madhumita’s state of mind is different at present. Its difficult to talk to her now, as she is feeling guilty of a thing that she actually is not responsible for. Natasha wanted to first calm her down, make her comfortable and then talk about her issues.

“Come, lets go for a walk” Natasha changed the topic

“What, are you out of your mind. My life is finished and you want me to go out for a walk. I am not even courageous to step outside this room” Madhu reacted as if Natasha is trying to make fun of her

“really, do you really believe that your life is finished. I don’t think so. You are breathing, your heart is pumping, your senses are working… You are alive Madhu, your life is not finished” Natasha played supportive “come with me, we will go for a walk around, breathe in open air, hear birds chirping, feel the breeze. Please only one time I am asking you to accompany me”

Madhu tried to gather her courage and agreed with condition that only for 30 minutes and if she sees other students, she will return. Natasha agreed totally with all her demands.

Madhu changed to her off white kurti paired with beige leggings and sleepers. Natasha was in her black pyjamas and white T-shirt and her sports shoes. Natasha looked from top to bottom at Madhu and smiled. Very rarely did Madhu wear such dull combinations. Madhu is a fan of bright colours but as she is lost somewhere around 8 days ago, that too with a mountainous guilt, its expected to be evident even in her dressing style.

They both started roaming at a calm pace. Madhu looking at direction away from Natasha’s. It was 7.30 am in the morning. Breeze was soothing with sun shining through in between the trees. Birds were chirping. Natasha pointed at squirrels in the park “they look so beautiful na Madhu”

“what” asked Madhu as she was physically present there, but actually she was lost at that particular night.

“These…. squirrels”

“hmm” Madhu realised there were many around and looked them “they are so many Natasha”

“Thank God, you noted”

There were roses and jasmine shrubs present. Madhu looked at them. Natasha noted that flowers have diverted the mind of Madhu.

“do you like flowers, Madhu”

“yaa, I like flowers. They are so diverse, yet all look beautiful” Madhu replied while gently touching them.

“hey, dont touch them, they will be ruined, you may destroy their beauty, you may take away their fragrance ” Natasha hit a sarcasm at Madhu and instructed her to be away from them.

“no, they wont be. No one can take away their beauty and fragrance. Rest assured, they won’t be harmed” replied explicable Madhu

“are you sure” questioned Natasha with sparkle in her eyes. Natasha stopped purposefully and Madhu noted that Natasha is not accompanying her and left behind. She turned around and looked at Natasha and raised both her shoulders to ask Natasha what made her stop.

“Madhu when you are so sure about flowers, why you think about yourself in that way”

“what” Madhu was puzzled because she couldn’t realise the analogy

“Madhu, did you notice that no one around here is bothered about you or what happened in your life” Natasha looked around while saying.

Madhu stepped towards Natasha and looked around and said “I dont know. I just know that I did wrong and I cannot undo it” tears again found their place in her eyes as she tried to explain.

Natasha held her hands and looked into her eyes and in a very caring tone said “You know what, I believe that you did nothing wrong. You were not wrong. Believe me. Its true you can’t undo it so please accept it. But its also true that you are not ruined and have all reasons to live an absolutely normal life, be progressive yaar

These words of Natasha really worked as Madhu nodded and her lips cornered to one side in an attempt to give a smile (although fake).

Natasha looked at her watch, it was 8 :15 am “I am feeling hungry, lets go to canteen for breakfast”

“But…” replied Madhu

Natasha stared at her and Madhu nodded again, this time with her sweet smile which was casual and not fake.

They both went to canteen. Sat in a corner table, away from others. Madhumita did not go to take her breakfast and looked at her feet continuously. Natasha brought two plates. They both had poha in their breakfast. Madhu requested Natasha for one more plate (she was having breakfast after so many days).

Natasha knew that the recovery of Madhumita is faster than expected from her emotional injury, so she agreed.

They both went back to their rooms. On their way towards their room, few hostel mates met Madhu and asked her about her health “hi Madhu, how’s your fever now”

Madhu was confused and looking at Natasha replied “hmm…. better”.

Natasha interrupted before they could ask further “yaa, typhoid cause lots of weakness. Wish her fast recovery”

“yaa sure. She is a strong girl and will recover fast” they replied with a big smile towards Madhumita.

Madhumita reciprocated their gesture. They both moved towards their room. As soon as they entered Madhumita could not control herself “I think they were aware about all. Otherwise why they would have said that I am a strong girl… I mean recovering from fever does not require anyone to be strong… Natasha, I did tell you that I don’t want to step outside this room”

Natasha could not control her laughter “Madhu how could be you so negative. Dont mind but let me tell you one thing, nobody… believe me.. nobody in the campus is fu##ing interested to know what’s happening in THE MADHUMITA’S life. Ok, chill now. Yesterday evening I had a talk with those girls and they asked me why you didn’t perform in freshers party. I told them that you have typhoid. So you get out of that bullshit night….

Madhu was stunned and looked at Natasha as if she got some shock treatment and Natasha noticed that tears are trying again to find their place in Madhu’s eyes. She held Madhumita’s shoulders and tried to calm her before the tears could roll down her pink cheeks “Madhumita, my dear, the more you are lost in that night, more you are going to harm yourself. No one else is interested, but if you behave weird, everyone will try to find out the cause. Rohit did not tell anyone, ok. He is so very normal in the campus.”

Madhu could control her tears this time “hmm, will try. Let me have a bath”

Natasha winked at Madhu “do you want me to accompany you dear in bathing or you will be able to manage yourself… Help karu kya” both of them burst into laughter.

Madhu did wear her red pyjama and yellow T-shirt. Natasha smiled at her “now that’s our Madhumita in her bright and lively colours”

Madhu replied ” Colours attract positivity in the same way as flowers attract butterflies” while managing her wet hairs with her towel.

“Hmm” replied Natasha “hey Madhu tell me one thing. Did you people use protection? ”

“What” Madhu stand still

“protection…. condom” Natasha in an excitement.

“ohh” Madhu gazed outside the window “yes”

“thank god” Natasha sighed “I was really worried about it, one of the disastrous things…… I was talking about earlier”

“we did use…I mean he did use…. ” Madhumita looked confuse

“yaa dear, actually condom is used together, don’t hesitate. Its a good practice you know”

“Tell me one more thing. Did you see any of your (ehmm) nude pics or video in his mobile” Natasha bombarded another question

“Nooo…” replied Madhu.

“This is the second disastrous things I was really worried” Natasha replied

“hmm” Madhu with her eyes wide open “I didn’t think that way”

“When he expressed his love for you” asked Natasha

“means?” replied Madhu

“When did he say magical words to you during your dating and all” Natasha was ready with her questionnaire.

“what” said Madhu

“Uff magical words, means I Love You” Natasha

After thinking for a while Madhumita replied “nooo… I don’t remember that he ever said that to me, but the way he used to talk to me…… , we used to spend time together alone….. , I thought there was no need of those magical words between us, it was self explanatory….. Or may be yes, I was over assuming….. may be I was wrong to interpret his emotions or feelings…. May be yes… I mean yessss… He never said those magical words to me, not even on that night ”

” He didn’t tell anyone in campus I guess. He is as normal as usual. Once when he visited canteen with his friends, he even asked about you” Natasha told Madhu

“Hmm, may be I, myself was attracted towards him. And I assumed myself that he loves me too…and I felt being cheated, by the person whom I loved and this feeling of betrayal is killing my soul” Madhu was now in expressive mode.

“May be it was really an attraction from him, and without his acceptance I assumed everything by myself. But, still whatever happened was wrong and now I feel that I did more wrong. I should not have allowed him, why did I felt that this is the way to express my love towards him…. Natasha, why I couldn’t control myself that night and it happened thrice. I thought that I found my love of life, how blessed I felt that particular night and the very next morning, I was broken into pieces ” Madhu sat on chair trying to express her heart out.

” Did you achieve that” Natasha’s next question was ready

“what?” Madhu could not understand

“uff, my sweet little girl, I am asking did you reach there. Did you reach orgasm baby” Natasha was in a notorious tone this time

A small smile prevailed Madhu’s lips, her eyes now gazed at her feet, her hands clenched her towel……

“Dont be shy queen THE MADHUMITA, tell me, did you reach” Natasha was eager to know

“yes” Madhu replied in a very low voice

“wow, saaalliii…. Madhu… Yaar tujhe aur kya chahiye, bekar me devdas bani baithi hai” Natasha was awestruck. “I mean, you reached there in your first, what else you want” and laughed patting Madhumita’s back.

“My dear girl, you yourself was carried away by your feelings towards him. He never ever told you magical words. It was your assumption and you did what your heart instructed you. Most importantly, you people used condom while fu##ing, there were no recording. And the best part you enjoyed it. It was a safe sex. Ulta tujhe to khush hona chahiye. You did it with hottest guy of campus, that too in your teenage” Natasha sounded excited.

Madhumita did not know how to react “but I should not have done all this. Its not acceptable in society, this is wrong”

“everything is wrong and nothing is right …. and….nothing is wrong and everything is right… All depends on your attitude towards life. I feel you did nothing wrong”

“Natasha it was wrong. How will I face my husband in future . How will he react when he will come across this aspect of mine….. I lost everything” Madhu was gazing outside the window, trying to avoid eye contact with Natasha

Natasha stood up and went towards window and said “if you see it through my perspective you did not loose anything except your virginity, in fact you gained experience before entering in your twenties” and both were looking outside the window.

Natasha continued “who will tell your future husband about your past. No one but you. So you have to forget your past. Its all in your mind dear. Just imagine if you erase all your memory uptil now, then who will tell you what you did….. No one…..similarly if you do not leave your past behind how will you accept your future ”

Madhumita was now trying to go deeper into the saying of Natasha. She continued to listen. Natasha continued

” I must say and you please also take it in this way. You gained good time, good sex, safe sex, your first experience which took you to (ehm) your orgasm with a boy you were attracted to. Nothing was there to loose. If you do not change your attitude, then you may loose many things like you may loose your semester or even admission, your career, your aspirations. So choice is yours Madhumita. ”

” Just give a thought that why you came here, to seek a groom, do marriage or something else “Natasha looked at Madhumita

She replied “no, I came here to get best education and be successful…. marriage was never on my mind, but after meeting Rohit, thoughts of love and marriage captivated my mind”

Madhu continued, “you are right Natasha. I HAVE TO MOVE FORWARD as its the only option that I have. There is no way out. But for this I know I have to face battle with self day in and day out and I don’t know whether I will win or loose this battle, but I have to try and only I can try this”

Natasha could convince Madhumita to MOVE FORWARD. She stood as a firm support with Madhu and even changed her thought process. Will Madhumita emerge as a winner or looses battle with self. If yes, how and if no whats her fate…… Will come again with the next part of Madhumita’s journey of life… Till then lots of love to you allπŸ’•πŸ’•

#1 MADHUMITA: Fall or Rise in Love

It was the freshers party night, thrown by 2nd year students to welcome their juniors. Everyone was enjoying but Madhumita did not turnup in the party. She had a dance presentation as lead lady from 2nd year group. Everyone looked around for her. Even her mobile was not reachable. Her roommate Natasha was also not aware about her whereabouts. She noticed that her friend Rohit is present and doesn’t look tense in her absence. He is the partner in her dance sequel as well. As Madhumita was not traceable, Rohit completed his act with the choreographer, as she was aware about the moves and steps.

After his performance Natasha went to Rohit.

“hi Rohit, where is Madhumita”

“how would I know” replied Rohit carelessly

“Ohh.. I thought she is your girlfriend, so I thought you may be aware” Natasha replied

“wait wait… She is my friend, not girlfriend Natasha.. please don’t spread rumors” winked Rohit with wikid smile at his friends

Natasha was surprised on Rohit’s response. But as it was manageable so no one bothered about Madhumita. Natasha was really worried for her, but as she was coordinator of the function, she could not do much but to ignore and work for the success of party.

At 2 am midnight, Natasha reached her room. Madhumita was lying on her bed completely covered by yellow floral top sheet.

“hey Madhu, you are here, thank God, I was so worried” sighed Natasha

Madhumita did not reply.

“are you ok madhu” Natasha moved closer to her..

“hmm” replied Madhumita in a very low tone.

“party was really awesome, everyone enjoyed” narrated Natasha

“hmm” Madhu replied

“hey Madhu , is everything okay between you and your friend Rohit”… She further added “Rohit very carelessly replied in the party when I did enquire about you. I thought you were his girlfriend ”

“hmm, no we are only friends ” replied Madhu . But Natasha could hear the weeping n sobs of Madhu under the top sheet.

“Madhu are you ok na dear.. If you want, you can share with me” offered Natasha to a shattered Madhumita.

“no” blatantly replied Madhu .

“hmm, you must be tired, its too late. I am also too tired. Lets sleep, we will talk tomorrow morning, ok…. Ok Madhu ” Natasha tried to console Madhu

“hmm” Madhu replied

Natasha changed her dress to her comfortable pyjama n T-shirt, and went to sleep… “feel free to wake me up if you require anything Madhu ” Natasha again offered support to Madhumita

Madhumita was persuing BA in Operational Research from DU. She hails from Kumayun region. As soon as she took admission, praises of her beauty were everywhere in the campus. Her dusky complexion with her deep eyes and dimples over cheek, waist length hairs, and sharp features made her the most talked about girl in freshers batch. Unware about this, she was one of the most sincere student with lots of respect towards her professors. Very soon Madhumita became the favourite student in her department and topic of hot discussion among boys in the campus.

Natasha was a rough and tough girl who got admission through sports kota. She was tall, smart, confident and determined towards her passion. Many boys in campus tried to follow her, but as she was focused only towards her game, running, no one could come closer to her. She comes from a middle class family of Haryana. The destiny brought Madhumita and Natasha closer as room mates. In other words, in campus, apart from her coach and Madhumita, Natasha never talked to anyone with ease.

Rohit was a management student. He was a handsome hunk 6 feet tall, black curly hairs, sexy body. He was an eye tonic to many girls in the campus. Many girls wanted to come close to him because of his rich background. He used to live alone in a 3 bhk apartment at Vasant kunj. His parents had a farm house in South Delhi. But most of the times they used to be in London because of business.

Once Madhumita was sitting in canteen with her colleagues, a boy came to her and offered red rose. Madhumita started crying at his gesture. It was difficult for her to handle this anymore, because every alternate day boys use to approach her for being their girl friend. Rohit came to her rescue and scolded that boy not to come close to her. Rohit made Madhumita feel comfortable with his charming personality and gentle behaviour. Gradually they started meeting in canteen and then they started hanging outside the campus too. They were the most talked about couple now in the campus. Everyone was eager to know what’s happening between the two. None of them ever talked about their relationship to anyone.

Madhumita never shared her date details among her friends, not even with her room mate. She always used to tell Natasha “why anyone else is interested to know about whats between me and Rohit. I mean we are friends and thats enough. My relationship with anyone, be it you or Rohit are not for others entertainment and gossiping.” Natasha really liked Madhumita’s opinion regarding privacy in any relationship.

Many times Rohit and Madhumita used to be together at his apartment, but Rohit never tried to come closer to her physically. They both used to talk, laugh and enjoy each others company. Madhumita was totally in love with her hostel life and trusted him blindly after knowing him for almost 9 months.

Madhumita did not sleep the whole night. Natasha got up early as usual and went for her practice. When Natasha returned, she found Madhumita in same pose on her bed.

“good morning Madhu, how are you” Natasha greeted Madhu in positive tone.

“hmm” replied Madhu with a heavy voice

Natasha understood that Madhu is in no mood to talk. She took a bath and went to mess for breakfast and moved from there to her classes. She returned back in afternoon to find Madhu still in bed covered under a sheet.

“Hey, you had lunch?” enquired Natasha

“hmm” replied Madhu

Natasha could now make out that there is something to bother. But as Madhu herself is not willing to share, she did not push her much. At night, Natasha brought dinner from mess for Madhu

“have it, or you will not be left with enough energy to weep” Natasha offered Madhu dinner

“I am not hungry” replied Madhu.

Natasha kept the plate on table and left the room saying “I am going for a walk”

As soon as Natasha stepped out of room, door closed, Madhu got up and ate the food, she had eaten nothing since yesterday morning. Before Natasha was back, she again went into her bed and covered herself completely.

The same events repeated for another 7 days. Madhu did not step out of her room. Her eyes were swollen because of continuous tears. Natasha could not stop herself anymore. It was a Sunday morning. Natasha did not go for morning workup.

“Madhu everyone in college is asking about you. Now I find it difficult to convince them that you are ill” Natasha sat on her chair with a mug of coffee.

“even your HOD is asking that why are you missing the classes, should I tell them the truth, or you are going to tell me something”

“no, please” Madhu replied

“or should I contact your parents and tell them that you are not well” Natasha said

“No no Please” Madhu sat in her bed “dont call my parents….. Please”

“so, you are going to tell me” commanded Natasha offering her coffee

Madhu started narrating in low voice..

The day before freshers party, me and Rohit went to his appartment as it was his birthday and he said he wants to celebrate it with me this year. He said his parents are in London and he doesn’t want a big event as next day is freshers party, so lets keep it simple.

On the way he ordered cake and pizza. When we reached his appartment, few minutes later cake n pizza were delivered. I was too comfortable with his birthday celebration idea as next day’s freshers party is going to be an extravagant event.

“Rohit, why you didn’t tell me a day earlier. I couldn’t even bring you a gift” Madhu said while arranging candles on cake

“Its OK. You are here with me on my birthday, its a very special gift in itself for me. And I have something for you”

Rohit presented Madhu a gift wrapped in red paper with tiny white hearts on it. Madhumita was amazed “whats this” holding it and turning it around.

“Your return gift, my dear friend, to make my birthday special. Open it please. I want that while cutting cake, you be donned in it.” Rohit was eager to see Madhu’s reaction

Madhumita opened it and was stunned to see a red net knee length dress “Rohit, its awesome. But what was the need…”

Rohit put his finger on Madhu’s lips indicating “shhh….. please wear it today for me”

Rohits request was unavoidable. Madhu went to another room and changed. It looked perfect on her. She made her hairs into a bun with one flick on right cheek.

“Madhu, its looking perfect. Wow, let me click you” Rohit took out his mobile and clicked Madhu. “Thanks again Madhu”

Madhu was feeling awesome and special too for her friend Rohit. “Lets cut the cake and start the celebration” Madhu looked at the dark chocolate cake on centre table in living room

Rohit cut the cake and Madhu sung birthday song for him. Rohit went to kitchen and brought a Champagne with two glasses. “Now starts the real celebration” Rohit told

“Rohit you know I don’t drink. Please dont offer me this” Madhu pointed towards the glass

Rohit popped the cork and poured the white sparkling liquid in 2 glasses and offered to Madhu “This is not alcohol, its champagne, beautiful ladies cant say no to it, otherwise it gets hurt and heartbroken” flirted Rohit while taking his seat adjacent to Madhu.

Madhu couldn’t resist and agreed. They enjoyed the Champagne with roasted cashews. Madhu again apologised to Rohit for not having gift and promised that she will give it to him after freshers night. Rohit took Madhu’s hand in his own and looked at her and replied “you are my gift…(after a pause) I mean that your friendship is my best gift ever”

Smiled Madhu. Rohit came closer to her and put his lips on her hands.

Madhu could not understand anything and tried pulling her hands off him, but Rohit held them tightly with fingers intermingled. He came even closer to her face. Madhu moved her face away and could even manage to take her hands away. She stood up as a reflex. Rohit too stood up and went close to her. He held Madhu’s face in his hands and looked directly at her eyes. Madhu was not able to make an eye contact and fixed her gaze towards the floor. They could feel each others breath.

Rohit put his lips on her forehead, then eyes and cheeks. Madhu did no effort to resist because she herself wanted to submit to Rohit as an expression of love.Her heart told her that its perfect event to express her heart out to Rohit. As Rohit’s lips came closer to her, she turned away as her mind and heart were in a state of conflict.

She did turn away because her mind was commanding her to stay away. But her heart wanted to shower her love on Rohit, so she stood there only.

Rohit held her shoulders from behind and her heart won the battle. He unzipped her dress from behind, opened her bun and her dress flipped off. She turned around, and hugged Rohit. Rohit put his lips on hers and they were tightly locked. To express her feelings towards Rohit, which she never shared with anyone, not even with Rohit, she submitted herself completely to him.

Next day morning she woke up, to find herself in Rohit’s room in his bed. She could not find her clothes around . Her head was banging. She wrapped a sheet around her and looked for her mobile to call Natasha that she will be reaching the freshers venue in an hour. It was discharged. Then she took Rohit’s mobile and as soon as she was dialling Natasha’s number, there flashed a WhatsApp notification from Aarav, Rohit’s friend

Aarav: finally you got her,congrats bro for your 11th victory, party tonight.

Madhu was stunned. She opened whatsapp and clicked on Aarav.

Aarav : bro, hows ur party. Your plan worked or not

Rohit : my plan never fails. I invested 9 months on her. She was tricky but finally got her. She is the number 11. Mission Madhumita complete and that too thrice, one in living room and twice on my bed

Before Madhumita could understand anything, Rohit entered room with coffee mugs and toast. He sat near Madhu and offered her coffee.

“Madhu I know you will be upset about what ever happened last night. I understand that none of us was ready for this. It all happened because we were not in our senses. I am really sorry, we are friends, and don’t want to ruin our friendship because of one silly night, that too when we were not in our control. I will never tell anyone about it, you too please don’t share it with anyone. We are friends and will remain the same. I hope you understand ”

Madhumita could now understand everything. The night which was meant to be special for her, is silly for Rohit, because he never had any feelings for her. She was only a target that too 11th. She was in a state of anguish and could not even react. She was heart broken.

Rohit dropped her outside the hostel and also handed over the packet containing the pretty red net dress. She walked to her room in a robotic state. Her mind started commanding her, even abused her heart too. She was in a state of conflict between her mind and heart all these 8 days.

Finally she got some courage to face herself and narrated her heart out to Natasha.





Now what, will Madhu be able to get out of this conflict with herself. If yes, how. If no, whats her fate. I will be coming soon with Madhumita’s journey of life.

Together we can achieve better

Anjali was gazing outside the car, but her vision was somewhere else. She was on her way to the capital city to attend the National Youth Award ceremony. Her work in the field of education and women welfare was acknowledged by the government and she was one of the ten selected to be conferred this prestigious award.

“Shall we stop at next restaurant for refreshments” asked Karan, Anjali’s husband who was driving the car.

Anjali did not reply as she was somewhere else. She was far behind in time, 7 years back, when she was 21. She was recalling her journey post her BSc nursing from AIIMS, Delhi.

When Anjali was in her internship, a marriage proposal came her way from a nearby village. Her maternal uncle suggested the match. A junior engineer in PWD, Karan, from a reputed family. Dayaram and Sunita had all reasons to say yes to proposal, and felt relieved. Anjali had no option but to say yes as there was no obvious reason to say no to such a good proposal (as per her friends and parents).

But Anjali was not sure about the marriage as she was confused. She said yes for marriage as she wanted her parents to be happy. But she had a hidden goal. She never talked to anyone about it. Somewhere in her mind, she desires to give her efforts for uplifting women and child health in her native village.

Anjali is the only child of her parents. Sunita had developed severe complications during her pregnancy, which went unnoticed due to ignorance and also lack of access to health care facility. Then in later trimester of pregnancy , she developed eclampsia (fits due to high blood pressure in pregnancy). She remained unconscious for almost 3 days. Doctors could save her life but because of excessive bleeding after delivery, they had to remove Sunita’s womb. In her neighbourhood and school, every one used to taunt Anjali for this, as if she was the reason behind all. It used to pinch her always. Everyone used to say if all this had to happen, God must have given the poor couple a boy instead of girl. Inspite of all taunting she faced, somewhere in her heart, she was nurturing the desire to do something for her village, to spread awareness regarding education and health.

Anjali and Karan started chatting and dating after their engagement. They both started enjoying each others company. Although love bloomed among the two but Anjali was fighting battle in her mind.. Her love or her commitment towards society…. She used to question herself every time that what she is opting for… She was not sure what is more important for her.. Only one month was left for the wedding day. She was facing continuous battle daily with herself. How she will achieve her goal if she marries. After marriage, may be, she won’t be allowed to persue her post graduation. Even if she does persue, may be she won’t be allowed to work on her own. May be she will be pressurised to go for some job. But as she came closer to Karan, she did not want to let him go from her life. What if she refuses to marry and later could not achieve success in her goals? What if she marries and later conflict arises among the two, then everyone will want her to pull out from her path. She even did not apply for any vacancies in state government or anywhere.

As she could not get her answer and fed up of fighting with herself, Anjali decided to share her concern with Karan. She thought it will be better to tell him. May be Karan himself will refuse for marriage after knowing her vision. She met him at CCD.

“hi, anjali…” greeted Karan

Anjali took her chair nearer to Karan “hi, Karan, I want to say something”

Karan nodded “ok”

“karan, I love you….” said Anjali in one go while gazing at Karan.

“ohh… I love you too Anjali” replied Karan holding Anjali’s hands

Anjali dislodged her hands from Karan’s “but…” replied uncomfortable Anjali

“but what Anjali…” chuckled Karan

“I am sorry Karan, but….” Anjali was anxious and bit confused thinking how to tell him

“Sorry for what anjali” Karan asked

“Karan, there is one thing that I want to share with you. I never told anyone about this…. I don’t know how you will react” perplexed Anjali

“Do you love someone else” Karan asked reflexly

“No no… Its not so, I love you…. a lot.. But, there is something else I want to tell you” Anjali replied sipping water

Taking a deep breath she continued “actually I have always dreamt of doing something constructive for my village, since my school days. I want to effort for women health, their empowerment, education…”

“oh.. Ok, I thought something else” laughed Karan

Then Anjali told everything how her mother had to suffer due to inaccessibility to health care facilities and ignorance and lack of knowledge on the part of her father. How these kind of mishaps can be prevented by making people aware.

“so, whats your concern now… I mean, whats puzzling you now” asked Karan

“karan, I want to do my postgraduation in Community Public Health Nursing, I mean I want to tell you, I need your help. I am not willing to opt for any job. After marriage, I am not sure how will you react. After marriage I will be expected to bear baby soon….all the responsibilities of married life may not allow me to persue my postgraduation. May be you don’t want a wife who is working in rural area for public welfare. This work requires commitment. I am concerned, may be I will not provebto be a good, obedient wife. I love you and don’t want to hurt you later so I decided to tell you all… ” Anjali completed

Karan laughed “Anjali, I too love you dear. Being close to you makes me feel worth loving. Now, I feel more lucky, after knowing how beautiful you are at heart. I too come from a rural background. I understand all your concerns. In fact I am really impressed”

Anjali asked in hesitation “what about our marriage”

Karan replied holding her hands once again “we will marry. Marriage is not about gaining command over you. The partners are complimentary to each other Anjali. I want a life partner not a bonded woman. I am with you in all your decisions. In fact why do you restrict only to your village, we will outstrech to larger area dear. You continue your studies. We together will achieve your goal…. I love you” and Karan put his lips on the hands of Anjali…..

Anjali felt so delightful recalling the past, that she decided to talk to Karan about her apprehension before marriage. He was the first person with whom she shared her idea. How much she was struggling before talking to him. But Karan always stood by her in her journey through out. He became her strength. They got married, she went to UK for her postgraduation. Karan convinced his parents and showed trust in Anjali. It was easier to achieve her goal only because of Karan. May be alone, it would have been a difficult path. But Karan made it possible. Together they started their journey with foundation of love, trust and respect. She cherished the joy of journey on unknown path with her soulmate that eventually leads to her destination. Now Anjali has plans of expansion of her work to other areas as well and she is confident that ‘together we can achieve better’ on the path of life.

Ego and Love, love fails

Life seemed so beautiful as I achieved what I was aspiring for, MBBS seat in AI CBSE PMT (although now I realise that there is no destination in life, infact its a continuous journey). Considering the direct connectivity by train, Aurangabad was the choice in the options available in counselling.

I joined the college in August 1999, the session was already underway. The first periodical exams were to start after 4 days. I had no time to settle in a new city, professional college and my new life. We all started preparing for exams because the result will be counted in internal assessment of final university exams. Our immediate seniors helped us in our anatomy exam preparation (its considered one of the difficult subjects in MBBS ).

Day in day out, we studied for our exams, trying to give our best. After many days of exhaustive studies and exams, we felt so much relaxed on last day. As recreational activity we planned to go for a movie (whats better than a movie plan in hostel life that too after exams).

TAAL, we were excited to watch this latest Subhash Ghai directed movie starring Aishwarya Rai, Akshay Khanna and Anil kapoor. It was raining, but we girls managed to go to Nupur theatre for 3 pm show after having quick lunch at our mess. We all wanted to celebrate our MBBS admission, which was left in between because of our unexpected exams.

I enjoyed the first half of movie. The romance of Mansi (Aishwarya) and Manav (Akshay Khanna). The innocent love blooming on Himalayas with soul touching music. Then the twist of misunderstanding by Manav and how his ANGER and EGO defeated his ‘so called love’. I mean how could he not give his love a single chance to explain whatever happened. Every person deserves a chance to give explanation, to keep his or her point of view.

I was happy infact that Mansi in time gets to know the truth about Manav’s love for her. Although she was hurt, but because of Manav’s betrayal, she got the opportunity to meet Vikrant Kapoor (Anil Kapoor) and prove to herself what she is. The man who believed in Mansi and stood by her and her baba. He trusted dad-daughter talent and invested his energy to make them a success.

Vikrant supported Mansi when she was broken by her so called true lover. I really wonder that she considered Manav as her true love. The person who did not give her even a single chance to explain or even put forward her point.

What would have happened if Manav could never come across the truth of insult of Mansi and her baba. How they were used by his dad in the deal, and how they were made to sit outside their house and treated as beggars. He would never have realised the blunder because he did not trust Mansi.

The end I could not digest then and after almost 20 years later, now also, I really wonder why that end to such a wonderful movie. Why Mansi left Vikrant for Manav. I mean as per my opinion real love was by Vikrant as he was not attracted by the beauty of Mansi but because of she as a person. He acknowledged her worth and love for her when they worked together.

Manav was infatuated by the beauty of Mansi. It was not love because he could not understand the personality of Mansi as he was only attracted by her beauty and could never see her as a person beyond her face.

Mansi was also wrong because she felt rejected by Manav, a rejection that she was not responsible for. When Manav approached her again, she felt this as her victory, victory that now Manav is missing her.

At that time, I was of the opinion that Mansi made decision out of ego satisfaction and not love. After 20 years, now I am double sure that she was wrong in her decision to tie nuptial knot with Manav.

I felt that the end reflects that the love lost the battle against ego. Emotional attachment lost against infatuation.

Live now, why wait

It was the month of January. Mercury dipped to its lowest ever with chilly waves. News channels were following this story in the evening as it was the coldest day in past 20 years. Moreover it is expected to dip down tomorrow as weather experts speculating snow fall in hilly areas and rainfall and hail storm in planes next day too.

Sunaina’s son, Aarush, on hearing news asked his mom “mummy, tomorrow will be a rainy day, a holiday?”

Sunaina replied with a warm smile “lets see the weather in morning, n we will decide then accordingly”

“mummy you too take leave tomorrow from work, we will enjoy the rains at home”

“hmmm, lets see” Sunaina replied with smile on her face “will see”

Sunaina was a Medical Officer in Military hospital. Her husband, Colonel Rohit Chaudhry is posted now a days in Assam. She used to live with her son and mother in law, Mrs Babita.

Next day morning she woke up at 5 am, as usual. She did her routine 1 hour of workout, inclusive of yoga and cardio. Then she prepared tea for herself and her mother in law.

“mamma, your tea is at the side table” Sunaina told her mother in law.

“Hows the weather outside, is it raining?”

“doesn’t seem like raining. But I didn’t see outside. After tea will see n tell you mom” Dr Sunaina replied

Done with her morning tea, she went to balcony. It was dark as its only 6.20 am in a chilly winter morning. Neither it was raining nor the stars were twinkling in the sky.

“Mummy, its not raining, but there are clouds”

“What about Aarush, is there any message from school about the holiday, there is a hailstorm warning in weather forecast” asked Babita

“No such message” replied Dr Sunaina while checking her message inbox. She added “but dont send him, its going to rain heavily today, so better let he be at home”

“are you also taking leave today, Aarush insisted yesterday.”

“no mom, he is a kid. There are so many responsibilities at hospital, why to take unnecessary leave”

“hmm, you are a better judge.” replied Babita “but he misses you both, when he is alone at home. He is only 10 years old”

“I know mummy, but work is also important and the responsibilities that me and Rohit share are part of our as well Arush’s life, and he will understand this ” replied Sunaina proudly, as a doctor and as any army officers wife.

Dr Sunaina was a dedicated doctor who opted working at government hospital, so that she can give care to maximum public. She was not only professional minded but a best possible spouse too. As her husband was posted mostly in distant locations, she stood like a wall with him. She never complained him that almost all festivals and family celebrations he is not with them, because she understands what work commitment is.

When she was about to leave for hospital, Aarush woke up n wished his mom a warm good morning..

“good morning Aarush, go get fresh and do some skipping. Revise your school work today and also read news paper in loud voice, ok” commanded a mother out of Sunaina

“ok mom, is it raining outside, my school is off today? “asked Aarush in excited tone

“not raining now, but it will, so you remain at home only” Sunaina winked at him with a smile “ghar par maje karna”

“mummy you please take a leave today and be with me….. Please ” Aarush requested with hope

With a sigh… Sunaina replied “no son, there will be patients waiting at hospital, and just think, rain will not stop all essential works. If everyone takes leave on rainy day, how will things keep working”

“ok mom” sighed Aarush

It was cloudy when Sunaina left. Soon after 5 minutes, when she was on highway, the dark clouds gathered in the sky making the morning almost as dark as a full moon night, and immediately started raining with hailstorm. Her speed halted to 20 km/hr and almost zero visibility because of heavy rains. She reached hospital. On her way, she was thinking that she could have agreed with Aarush for a leave. So much rain,who will come today to hospital.

After punching her attendance, she moved to her room. She saw 3 patients already waiting outside her room. She felt really happy that she did not take leave today. She just thought how she would have felt if she would have gone to any office and work denied there because the concerned person took leave because of rain.

Sunaina, examined her patients and advised them the priscription. After 30 minutes, the rain stopped and inflow of patient started, although less as compared to other days. But at the core of her heart, she was aware that those who are coming today are really needy and for emergency care only. She felt blessed by God, that she is able to give them medical care today in such bad weather as well.

To make it enjoyable, Sunaina ordered online pizza for her son at home and also for her staff at hospital. As per the policy of pizza ordered, the delivery occurred within 30 minutes.

Her mobile rang, it was from home. Aarush on other side “thankyou so much mummy” in excited tone, as she did not tell at home while ordering to make it a surprise.

Sunaina replied “you must have thanked to the delivery boy my son. In such bad weather he came to deliver you a pizza…. hmm”

“sorry mummy, but i got your point, that what ever the circumstances be, life does not stop, if that pizza delivery boy would have taken a leave, how i would have enjoyed this rain, thankyou mummy and love you so much”

Sunaina enjoyed the pizza in lovely weather with her whole staff at hospital. Aarush enjoyed at home.

…. Life does not stop, whatever the circumstances be…… its pace may slow down, but life goes on. If you stop, you loose life. Life’s precious moments, nature’s precious moments doesn’t wait for anyone. You just keep on moving and enjoy the little moments, enjoy nature, wherever you are, with whom you are.

If you wait for SOME GOOD PERSON, OR SOME GOOD PLACE to enjoy little moments, then you may keep waiting always. The nature may not give you opportunity again. Keep working, keep moving, and enjoy where you are, with whom you are.

Finding happiness

Friday morning, it was a new day. I woke up as usual, feeling of something missing from life was present as usual. I had a robotic life, wake up early, go to work, look after kids, household work and go to sleep.

Today, i was very much sure that I am going to find my share of HAPPINESS in this universe. Day passed as routine and with sun ready for illuminating the other side of globe, i prepared myself to begin my search of HAPPINESS.

I was desperate and determined. In donned a yellow colored dress from AND, with my Liberty sandals, funky danglers in my ears and red lipstick. I was sure that I will succeed today.

As most people find their HAPPINESS at malls on weekends, I decided n went to Mahagun Metro Mall, which was hardly 2 kms away. My daughters dressed in their favourite attires were full of enthusiasm. With full energy and desperation for my achievement, I entered. Started roaming there aimlessly, glancing the showrooms and the displays.

My elder daughter asked, mummy now what? Which shop mummy? I looked around and saw Mochi showroom. I got the answer, come on lets buy our HAPPINESS here. We entered and after trying few, i selected one pair of sandals for myself. While my card was being swipped, I asked myself, “so, ultimately u found”.

I replied “yes, of course, i bought my happiness”

My inner self laughed at me. As soon as i paid the bill, I kept asking myself, “is it really the one u were looking for since so many days?”

I kept on telling myself “yes, of course, it is…” but i myself knew that I spent in vain as this did not filled the emptyness of myself.

Now, what next. I looked around, there were so many fun rides for kids. I saw many parents are having smiling faces when they are looking their children enjoying the rides.

Idea! lets buy this HAPPINESS. I mean, every parent is happy to see the kids enjoying, surely this will bring me too. I bought the tickets, my daughters enjoyed a lot on multiple fun rides, I clicked some pictures as well to share on my FB profile, as a proof of achieving my HAPPINESS.

I again asked myself, “are you sure, it is achieved?”.

I replied “yes, of course. See every parent out there is happy, why not me. This time i am an achiever.”

“Then why dont you look satisfied”

“no, i am satisfied….. But…”

So, back to where i started.

We three wandered in mall, had dinner and returned back. “you failed again, such a stupid lady, you cant find HAPPINESS, IS IT SO DIFFICULT?”

“I will give my best next weekend again” replied to self.

I wore my payjama and t shirt. My daughters too changed their dresses in semi sleep mode, as they were exhausted. I helped them get in bed, soon the fell asleep.

I was looking at them, feeling so lucky to have them in my life, but not that lucky to fell asleep as i was saddened that i failed again. After so many attempts, how could not… I mean, where the hell is my HAPPINESS….

I went to the living room, put on the tv, searched the music channel. There was a dance number playing on it. My feet all of a sudden started tapping on their own.

“hey, whats this, are you mad? You want to dance alone at 11 pm in your house”

But, i could not resist, stood up, and started throwing my hands and legs in different direction, slowly i started to dance in rhythm. What i noticed it when the song ended, there was a big smile on my face, without even attempting to smile, i was smiling. My heart was running fast, face sweating, breathing too fast, but with a big smile on my face. “yes, this is it, my HAPPINESS. I was looking at all places but never realised that it was within me. Its not like, I can buy it or get it from outside, it resides within me. Every small thing in my life that brings by itself smile on my face, is my HAPPINESS.

Since then, I have started admiring my surroundings, and got released from that robotic life.

A new beginning

Every day sun rises and makes as feel awesome, we have a new beginning as a day. Yesterday is past, so are the things that happened. Future will always remain future as it has to come tomorrow. So what do we have… Its today… A new day, giving u another chance of a new beginning… Its my day, today, i live here, this moment, feel the power that you are still alive, live life your way, make today better…. Its my new journey, i started it today, neither yesterday nor tomorrow, because today is my day…