#6 MADHUMITA : Struggling Love

Madhumita did her morning ritual with full enthusiasm but Aarav was not involved that day. He was trying to find out the reason of his queries. Is he really GOOD FOR NOTHING ?….. Is Madhu now attracted towards Rohit?…… Was she only involved for casual sex with him or it was because she found him worth loving?…… What was the thing that Madhu wanted to tell?……Was it that she is attracted towards Rohit because he looks better than him and rich also?……. Why is he feeling jealous when he is seeing Madhu getting close to Rohit?…….. IS IT because of LOVE….Amidst so much of brain storming questions ,he tried to calm himself…. ‘Why am I giving it so much attention , it was only a lunch and nothing else. I should not be concerned much……lets see, what happens…’

Now, Madhu was left alone in her room for few months. Days passed as routine. She continued her morning workouts with Aarav. Sometimes, Aarav would skip, but she did follow it religiously. Madhu started to have evening tea in canteen with Rohit, as Aarav was irregular in college and Rohit would daily catch her up after class. She started chatting more frequently with Rohit. Aarav noted her increased proximity with Rohit these days. Many times Aarav tried to ask her , what she wanted to tell that day, but was afraid that how Madhu will react. After all they both are in a non committed relationship. If he tries to enter her space, may be Madhu will get furious and now as she has another option with her , Rohit, she may pull herself out of their duo. So he was now , for the first time in their long and beautiful relationship was feeling insecure. Insecure , because he was worried that may be after asking Madhu about Rohit, she may say …’its over between us, thanks Aarav for your wonderful support’. Uptill now, Madhu and Aarav would share any damn thing and would talk on any topic with utmost ease. But now, Aarav was getting conscious to ask Madhu about her view on Rohit and also about their own relationship.

Aarav started avoiding Madhu these days. He stopped replying to Madhu’s calls and messages, or reply them very late that too deliberatly. He stopped liking the posts of Madhu on social media and it was also deliberate. But he became restless and irritable. While talking to Madhu, he used to always fight with himself , and many times he used to shout on Madhu on  things which were not of any significance. Madhu did realise that Aarav’s behaviour has changed, but she did not ask him because she was perturbed, may be he is having some conflict with his dad which he never talked about, as final exams are coming. In fact , she was conscious that as he is now a days too irritable and as he is too kiddish and impulsive, he may quit their relationship out of rage as he did in BBQN few days back. Madhu too was feeling now insecure in her relationship with Aarav and did not want to talk about anything that may irritate Aarav. Madhu did try to tell him about her and Rohit’s incidence that happened on his birthday more than a year ago. But as she was concerned now, she was fretful about his reaction and may be he breaks up with her. She was aware about his anger in BBQN. Although that day when Aarav raised questions on her character, she kept calm. But she was hurt and  she even  realised that Aarav in anger can say anything. May be everytime she cannot keep herself calm and cool. She was distraught about the consequences if both of them loose their temper simultaneously. So, she thought, its better not to tell about her past, about Rohit to him. As they are not committied, and may be she will tell when time and situation permits and now they must focus on final exams and nothing else. She was also giving more time and attention to her CAT preparation.

On the day of opening ceremony of Asian Games, Aarav texted Madhu, ‘meet me in canteen at 4 pm’

He went to canteen that day, with enough courage to tell Madhu that he wants to be committed in their relationship. He wants Madhu as his life partner because he is deeply in love with her. Only 3 months were left for their exams and he does not want to loose her. When he entered the canteen, he saw Madhu sitting with Rohit. Although he was displeased to see them together, he went and joined them.

“Hi Aarav, we were waiting for you. Madhu did tell that you will be coming” Rohit tried to shake hand but Aarav did ignore. Madhu noted that Aarav is not in good mood, reason she could not make out. May be, his equation with his dad getting worse as exams are nearing. Madhu diverted their conversation towards opening ceremony of Asian Games, where Natasha and Vishal are upto to prove themselves.

Madhu initiated “Hey guys, Asian Games are starting today. Natasha and Vishal will be in the Indian Team . It will be great to watch them”

“Yaa, why don’t you join me at my home. We will watch it together on my home theater system” replied Rohit

“Wow, great. What do you say Aarav, shall we join him” Madhu was excited

“I have some important work, you two enjoy. It will be better if I stay away, your enjoyment will get doubled” Aarav replied in a sarcastic way.

Madhu could not understand him “how it will get double without you Aarav? “

“Rohit will explain and demonstrate this to you in detail , at his house, when you two will be alone” Aarav looked at Rohit and got up in rage and left the canteen.

Now, Madhu did realise what Aarav was tonting. ‘OMG, how can he even think like this. Does he think I am available for everyone ‘ she was in agony. ‘Why Aarav is being judgemental about me’. She did notice that Rohit was smiling. She was distressed, how can Aarav say like this in front of someone else ‘Go and get fu#ked by him’. It was really a moment of embarrassment for her.

Rohit took advantage of the situation “see, once I told you, that you are dating the wrong person. Your boyfriend is good for nothing”

On hearing this Madhu replied in a firm voice.. “I did tell you earlier also that Aarav is not my boyfriend. He is my friend. And what do you mean by dating the wrong person. Then who according to you is the right person to date “

“of course ME ” Rohit was very clear in his voice.

“Oooooo, really…’ Madhu replied in irritation.

“Yes baby, you too know this. We are perfect for each other” Rohit placed his right hand on Madhu’s left hand

Madhu immediately withdrew her hand and said “Yes of course I very well know one thing. Anyone  can be the right person for me, but its definitely not you Mr Rohit.”

“Why Madhu, we have such a good chemistry. We both understand each other. Dear we were together for almost 9 months. You were so happy with me. I realised about my feelings towards you when we were not together. I missed you, your presence around me, your care. I missed you badly Madhu. I can not forget my birthday night, your touch, your breath…… The love we made together……. I still miss it……. Lets go tonight at my house Madhu. I really want to love you. I want to re-live that moment again and again Madhu”

“Shut up Rohit….please” Madhu was now red faced.

” It would have been a great experience for you, but it was not good for me ……. infact it was the worst experience” Madhu was now vexed.

” Worst experience……But Madhu you did enjoy. I saw it on your face that night…..” Rohit tried to convince her

“Yes, you saw it on my face, because I did not want to hurt you on your birthday. I did not enjoy that night. You want to know why? Because I could not reach it during any of three. ” Madhu was firm in her response.

” What? ……it’s not possible,……. I can’t believe……… How’s it possible that you did not enjoy with me…..with ME……..no…no.. you are lying…..” Rohit stumbled on hearing his incapability to take a girl to that level.

“Why will I lie. If I would have enjoyed it, I would have tried it again, right. But I did not. Isn’t it evident to you. Now also, did I ever try to be with you. It’s true, I did not enjoy that day, I could not reach it, but as it was your birthday,….. I did not let you know. I do understand how you males are so much conscious about your performance in bed……. But, yes, I was not satisfied. So, You are never an option for me for sure. I am sorry, I would have never told you this, but as you are getting so pushy……I have to reveal the truth” Madhu tried to explain Rohit and also provided solace too.

“But….I thought….. that’s why you tried to avoid me…… OMG…. NO…… ” Rohit had no words.

Madhu stood up and placed her right hand on Rohit’s left shoulder while standing by his side. She tried to sympathize with him ” Don’t worry Rohit. Its not a big issue. It only means that we are not made for each other, you know …..compatibility issues. You may find a suitable girl, whom you can satisfy…. I hope you understand” .

She was feeling victorious in her mind and to finish herself she continued ” we can be only friends, nothing beyond that” and left the canteen.

While leaving canteen, Madhu was feeling glorious as she succeeded in what she was planning since the day of marathon. When Rohit tried to outshine Aarav , she immediately decided that she will hurt Rohit at right place ,right issue, where it will harm the most. She knew that Rohit is a womanizer and to raise questions on his ability to satisfy a woman in bed, will hurt his ego the most. It will cause a continuous ache for long in his life, may be life long. And she proved right.

But she was distraught by Aarav’s behavior. She could not enjoy what she did with Rohit, because she felt crippled by Aarav. Also she was exasperated by him, how can he be judgemental and how can he raise questions on her character. There was so much to think about, that she felt hammering in her head. She could not make out how to react. Celebrate her victory over Rohit or should she cry for Aarav or give a tight slap to Aarav. She missed Natasha at this moment. But, she has to face her life challenges by herself. Natasha can not be present to rescue her through out her life. She skipped the tuition that evening. She tried calling Aarav, but he did not reply.

She texted him messages, but he did not reply. She even missed her dinner that night. She was looking at her mobile continuosly, waiting for Aarav’s reply. At every notification , she did grab her phone thinking that its Aarav, but everytime she proved wrong. Sometimes she use to cry, at other time she use to feel furious over Aarav, that why he reacted like this. Atleast he can reply to her messages. He should give her a chance to explain everything. Thinking all this, when she slept, she herself did not realise.

Next day, she woke up late. Her eyes swollen , reddened and feeling dry. She got up, checked her mobile, there was no reply from Aarav. She went to wash room. There she looked herself in the mirror. She asked herself,….. What happened wrong and where? What if she would have told Aarav earlier that what is her plan about Rohit?…………… She replied to herself, ‘may be he would have supported her or may be he would have reacted the same as he did react now’

Then she again asked herself…. Can it be undone now?…. She got the reply…. NO, nothing can be undone.

Her next question was……What next?….. and the reply she got from within was ‘Move on….what else’

She again asked herself ……’Really, is it so simple?’…. and she asked a question in reply ‘Do you have any other option? Tell me what next?’

Her answer was “NO, I have no idea about what to do now……Yeah JUST MOVE ON”

She decided that she will not contact Aarav again. She will focus on her final graduation exams and also start preparing for CAT. She knew , its difficult but there is no option left with her. She remembered that how Natasha motivated her to move on when she was depressed after Rohit’s incidence. That time also , it looked like impossible. But the word impossible became I M POSSIBLE. With time and determination every thing is possible. Moreover, now hardly 3 months are remaining for exams. It will not be as difficult as it was on first time. She washed her face, made up her mind. Now, she will not text or call Aarav. ‘Its not that whatever he did was right. He knew me for so long. He has no right to demean me. Still I tried contacting him. I opted to explain him, but he did not give me a single chance. What he said about me was also not right. Still I apologized to him. I gave more importance to him rather than my self esteem. But, may be he doesn’t deserve it. I will now, never call or text him.’

Madhu tried to concentrate on her studies and morning workout. After 7 days, the D day for Natasha came. Madhu was following the Asian Games. She missed her classes that day. And followed Natasha’s event. To everyone’s surprise, Natasha won the gold medal in 200 m run. Madhumita could not believe herself. She was so happy. She texted congratulations message to Natasha. She was so excited that she again tried to call Aarav. She thought may be hearing this news, his anger gets little lower, as Natasha was his school mate. But Aarav did not reply to any of her messages or call even after 7 days of that incident. Now, she was sure that Aarav’s ego is far superior to satisfy. Now, she was even more convinced that moving on is the only option she is left with.

Next day, Natasha won her second gold medal in 400 m run too. It was a historic moment. Whole country congratulated her. Everywhere, people were praising Natasha.  Vishal too grabbed a Gold in 400 m run. Natasha did call Madhu after reading her messages. She was too excited.

‘Hi Madhu, thankyou so much for your messages’

‘Natasha, my jaan, I told you na, you will make us and the whole nation proud’ Madhu replied in ecstasy. ‘when are you coming back dear, I can’t wait to hug you’

‘Thanks Madhu, lets see, I have my return flight a day later. I am receiving so many messages dear. My dream came true. I also want to hug you. OK bye. Short interaction with media today is planned by team and I am going there, later, we will go to visit the city. Me and Vishal have our flights tomorrow. See you soon dear’ Natasha’s voice was filled with overwhelming joy.

The energy of Natasha was infectious and had positive impact on Madhu. She thought, ‘Natasha did achieve her goal, Vishal sir too. Now, its my turn to prove myself. I will turn upside down but will clear IIM .’ Now, she was boosted with the will to shine. She missed Aarav, but remained stable and did console herself that no looking back. Just focus on your journey with aim at her next destination.

After 15 days, Natasha visited the campus. She was followed by media everywhere. She was now the star. As she belonged to Haryana, the State Government did announce so many things for her. One of them was DySP in Haryana Police. She also went to meet President and Prime Minister. Every news channel was running her story of struggle. She had very less personal time in college as well. But she managed to meet her bestie, Madhu.

“Hi Madhu, how are you, its so long” Natasha hugged Madhu

“Yaa, Natasha. Congratulations once again dear. You really did wonders and now life’s all set, DySP madam” Madhu giggled.

“How’s Aarav. He did not reply to my messages and did not reply even to my calls” Natasha asked

“I don’t know. He is also not responding to my calls. Leave it. He may be having some issues with his dad, which he may be trying to cope up with” Madhu replied and did not tell anything to Natasha. She thought why to remember and discuss a thing which brings sorrow and grief.

Natasha whispered in her ears “I will come to give only exams. You know, I am getting some offers for advertisements also” and smiled with sparkle in her eyes.

waah, star jo ban gayi ab tu. 2 gold medals in Asian Games, koi choti baat thode hi hai” Madhu patted her back.

Natasha did leave the college. But again, she infused positivity in Madhu, which she needed badly. Now, she was involved through out the day with herself. Morning ritual as usual, followed by college and tuition at evening. Aarav stopped coming to ground in morning for workouts.

It was difficult for Madhu to come out of trauma of technical breakup, but she was getting stronger day by day. She focused on exams. Days passed and exams started. Natasha too joined Madhu in her room for exams. These were their last few days together.

Madhu had to face Aarav during exams as their center was in same room. But both of them maintained not to have eye contact with each other. No greetings, no smiles, both of them reacted in a way as the other one doesn’t exist. Madhu was firm now, a strong girl, who can hide her emotions behind her grim facial mask.

It was the last exam of Madhu. She was getting ready. Natasha received a phone call from her mother.

“Hello mummy, good morning” Natasha greeted on mobile…… “What?…. How?…… Oh my God!!…” Natasha looked tensed while communication… And she was just listening her mother… with intermittent ‘hmm’…

“OK mummy, if you get to know anything else, let me know, its really sad” Natasha completed her conversation.

Madhu asked “what happened Natasha, everything OK”

“No, not OK” Natasha had tears in her eyes. She continued “Aarav….”

Madhu could not resist herself “What happened to Aarav, is he Ok, please tell me” she came close to Natasha and looked anxious.

“Aarav’s mother expired yesterday afternoon ” Said Natasha

“What!!! How?… Yesterday morning only, he revealed his identity on his insta account……” Madhu replied. Although to everyone she was showing her firm attitude, but daily she was following Aarav on social media. She stopped liking or commenting on his posts, but she was a genuine regular follower. Just to keep an eye on her love, the love which was not revealed to anyone, not even to Aarav.

“Aarav went yesterday evening to his house after the news. It was a sudden death, may be heart attack as reported in news paper. Aarav did not stay at home. He returned back at night. His equation with his dad was dependent only on his mother. Aarav avoided interaction with his dad always. It was his mother, only his mother, he was really dependent upon. She was the only support. Uncle is too strict. How he must be now, Aarav is a kid at heart. He is too impulsive. I hope he is fine. Let me call him” Natasha was concerned about her friend. Madhumita’s eyes too filled with tears. She left a message on his WhatsApp ‘sorry to hear about your mom. Please meet me after exam’. She noted that the message was delivered and was even seen. But there was no reply.

Natasha called Aarav “Hi Aarav. Sorry to hear about aunty”

Aarav interrupted ” Ok, meet me in canteen after exam is over” and disconnected.

Natasha told Aarav that he did call her in canteen post their exam. Madhu told Natasha that she will also join them. Both agreed. Madhu was saddened by the news, although she pretended that she moved on, but in this time of grief, she wanted to be with Aarav. She knows the importance of friends support system, how these support system helps you in time of distress. Although time is the biggest healer, but to go through that time, if you have strong and supportive friends, it becomes easier. In this crucial time, she wanted to extend her full support to her hidden love, Aarav.

In exam hall, she waited for Aarav. He did arrive at the last moment, and did not look towards her. When exam was over, Aarav left the room very quickly. Madhu tried to talk to him, but her class mates started discussing the questions and she thought that she will catch him up in canteen. She even felt that this is not the right place to confront him.

She hurried to canteen after exchanging greetings with all her classmates, as this was the last day together. Aarav was sitting in canteen with Natasha. Aarav facing towards canteen entry and Natasha’s back towards it. He saw Madhu entering canteen. He looked towards his lap and told Natasha “Ask her to leave, or I will leave”

Natasha looked back, she noticed Madhu is coming towards them. “why Aarav… What happened between you two?”

“Just do what I say or I will leave” Aarav repeated again

“She really cares for you Aarav. She is worried about you….” Natasha tried to sort out things but did not succeed.

Madhu reached the table, and stood near Natasha. “Hi Aarav… Sorry to hear…” she was interrupted by Aarav, his right palm facing towards her face “Leave now” his face was still facing his lap. “I dont want to hear a single word from you”

Madhu looked at Natasha, her eyes filled with tears, face confused and body language pleading that please let me be here. But Natasha in her gesture advised her to leave. Madhu looked back again at Aarav, his gaze did not change. She could not control her tears rolling down her cheeks and she took herself out of canteen and certainly out of life of Aarav for sure..

Why did Aarav and Madhu felt insecure in their relationship, Is love really weak?…

Why did it matter to Aarav, what other’s opine about him. Why he could not trust Madhu?

What would have happened at Aarav’s house, cause of his mother’s death, was it really natural?….

What happens next in journey of life of Madhumita?….. Did she gets her goal, her love, both or nothing… We will see in next chapter…..

Till then lets have a look on what makes us insecure in our life, Is love really weak or a strong bond………with lots of love to my readers 💕💕

7 thoughts on “#6 MADHUMITA : Struggling Love

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